Up and coming

In the Past

2007-02-14T16:44:20Z

Its officially over. This charade, this fools journey. I think I'm finally ready to just put it behind me.

I can't ever be friends with Brittany again.

It's been a truth I've avoided. A truth I had feared even. My past with women has never been a very good on. For all my observation skills and techniques I had learned as an artist, one would think somewhere down the line I'd of learned how to communicate certain feelings without hurting the recipient of those feelings in the process.

Goddammit

At least a bit of good comes out of this. The coldness I've been putting towards other women might start to subside. In time I might be able to have a girlfriend I can relate to without hurting anyone. Relationships suck <.

Holy crap Update

2007-02-12T23:17:36Z

Yeah, Ive been lazy to update. In a rush I accidentally deleted my password and it took forever to reset. Damn user service. DAMN ITS FREE SLOWNESS.

On the plus side working at Chunky's has been going great. The people there are great to be around, and there not the sence of bullshit I had with my last job. Which is good.

Another good thing to happen recently is my efforts towards getting into plymouth. I mightve fucked up once, but Ill be damned if I don't get accepted this time. Well, damned or my dads gonna have me move out. Whichever comes first.

Now that Anime Boston is just around the corner, I'm all psyched up. I really hope I see Ashley and her group there. My only worry is that Brittany may not feel up to seeing me. Hopefully she's forgiven me for all that crap and we can at least converse with one another without the awkwardness...Just gotta be myself I guess.

Lots to do, little time to have..

2007-02-01T23:25:26Z

Wow did this year hit me in the face like a pie. Now that I'm the clubs technician I gots lots of projects to do. Training for the Trigameathon, getting resources together for the lan party, and making sure Im all set for Anime Boston. Phew.

On a plus note my acceptance to Plymouth seems a whole lot more likely this time around, I actually pumped about it. The only pain is that I need to get on the ball about my studies and focus as well on my fafsa. Hopefully I'll have a chance this year of getting finacial aid.^^

Getting ready for work

2007-01-26T20:56:31Z

Its been awhile since my last post so I figure, what the hey.

I guess I should be less surprised, but it seems Brittany took me off her friends list. Hopefully it won't be too awkward when when I see Ashley, Nikki and there friends at AB.

I'm one hellava mess this semester in terms of organization. Literally, I'm using old notebooks that have pages torn out and I can tell which is which.

Time for a trip to Staples.

Nashua Tech 2.0

2007-01-18T20:44:01Z

Well its second semester and classes have started back up. I'm all psyched. Got Chemistry, World Religions, Algebra and Trig, and Writing short stories. Need to work on my writing<.

Tired, happy, but also troubled....

2007-01-13T05:22:14Z

Wow, a LOT has happened this week.

Finally got the job at Chunky's and worked there for my first day. Its an amazing job, seriously, any job where a workaholic like me can work nonstop is like a blessing^^, course I'm green as hell, so I need to work on figuring out my weaknesses and strengthen them.

Also my dad's Hunting and Fishing Expo has started up again for the 5th year. I remember when it was just some show they had because they let anyone use that building, now its become one of the biggest in the state. Its been fun being there and the people are great. Last year I sold pet beds, before that I was the general errand boy. Now they got me in charge of all the AV equipment, which is fun, but can be boring from time to time.

Finally the last thing that I sorta decided on is, I think I should just try to forget about Brittany. At least till AB.
For the past 3 months its been the same "hey whats up?""Not much you?""absolutly nothing"<.<.
Its not going anywhere, I don't think she even wants to be friends at this point. It's frustrating enough to figure out how she feels, but whats worse is I can't seem to do that either. Heck I don't think I ever did...

I gotta stop posting at 1 AM <.

2007-01-03T06:27:01Z

Well so far so good. Quit my old job finally. 6 years of that was enough to realize I didn't want another 10 to 20, so I bailed out while I could. My friends and family were not at all surprised with my decision, but nevertheless concerned what I was going to do withmy life. I didn't have a job exactly lined up for replacing my old one, and my wallet was running thin, as it usually does...somehow. I had a backup in place, but it's certainty wasn't exactly "certain".

Fortune blessed me when I needed her most, I got the job. For the next 9 months I will be working as a waiter at Chunky's.^^ Which rocks on a post-uber level of awesomeness that only the saints, gods and Chuck Noris have ever attain. Enlightenment felt good.

....Then my ps2 died,so yeah sometimes Fortunes a two faced bitch. <.

Because they want to tease you

2007-01-02T15:16:22Z

I figured my MGS fanfriends would get a kick outta this:

Que the Fanfare music

2006-12-30T16:49:09Z

I seem to get all my goals done that I wanted to this year. Most in the past 2 weeks. <.<
Procrastination rocks.

The biggest thing of the the whole bunch, was finally being able to quit Market Basket and get a job I can actually enjoy. I think I finally have gotten that. After 6 years at the MB, I realize that the store wasn't as I remembered it. The people were negative, and because of my senority, I was depended on quite a bit, more then I should have. But I did not feel as though I was needed at the same time. It was a very odd situation, and I'd rather not be in one like it again.

But wow, 2006 was big for me. Getting a license, changing a college, and the social experiences are ones I will never forget. 2007 will mark my 21th birthday, and while I've gotten alot done to fix my life into order, theres still lots to do.

I also got to see a picture of Amanda's demonic bunny, that was cool too.

Happy holidays -Heres a crazy rant :P

2006-12-25T05:53:44Z

Well midnights past, so Merry Christmas!

Since 2006 is drawing to a close, its probably best to reflect. Lots of stuff has happened in the last few months, but it’d be a bore to list it all here. (God forbid I did enough of that emo rant shit back in my blogger days <.<)

I’ve grown some this past year and have learned a lot about people, what drives them, and the many different aspects they all carry. Obviously, I’ve much more to learn, but I hope 2007 will be as educational as 2006 has been.

One thing I’ve learned, the most important thing I think, is that I’ve realized that many people like to escape through entertainment and stimulating activity. I myself have been an avid anime and gaming enthusiast. In an anime I’ve been watching, “Welcome to the NHK”, the main character struggles with the life he’s escaped to. It’s ending was quite satisfactory and I recommend it to anyone who likes animes that are more psychological, like Evangelion or Paranoia Asia. In it, the main character Sato-san has difficultly adjusting to modern life, and shuts himself away from others. This phenomenon has become quite common in Japan, the UK, and the US, in which the individuals are classified as NEETs (Not Employed in Educational Study or in Training). The Japanese have a word for those with these sociopathic tendencies and are called Hikikomori.

Wow did I get of track,….moving on.

The part of this series that was the most influential to me was after recovering from his condition, Sato-san’s relapse into the hikikomori lifestyle shortly after beginning to play an MMORPG.

It hit me at how dangerous the escapist ideals when video games are mixed in. I ain’t about go uber religious now and dub all my friends gaming habits as evil tasks. But I’ve realized that I’m not a kid anymore and I gotta get serious about my future. So I might still play games from time to time, but I’m thinking that I’d rather just do it for fun, then try to do to be good at it.

Its not like I’d get anything for being great at it anyway. :P

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year you guys!

Bout time

2006-12-22T02:52:54Z

Well, blogger didn't work out quite the way I planned. (Actually...a complete failure) but oh well, its in the past. Since I haven't got to see Brittany, Amanda, Nikki, Ashley, Spencer...pretty much all my chester friends, I figured this was the best way to get back in touch. I miss you guys! : )

tired....but satisfied ^.^

2004-10-20T19:18:44Z

Oooo boy, I'm just....blaahhhhh, my legs feel like jelly. But DDRMax2 is as fun as everyone says it is. I'm really glad too that it came so quickly (Amazon rocks ^.^) Anyway, i guess its been awhile since my last update. Soooo, what going on now....Well i have been seeing Kelsey more often now, in the hallways and such and i feel like a bit o a dumbass for that comment i made too >.<.....she probably didnt take it offensivly, she nice like that. I'm just surprised she's *******(I'm not going to say what, outta respect for her)I mean i know sooo many girls like that its unreal...the exact number is impossible to know, but probably close to half(Even though some won't say to people in public) I mean it doesnt bother me at all, just comes as bit of a surprise. Not like my feelings towards her have changed either. But, shes not availiable anymore, so i better stop thinking like that before it gets me into trouble -_- again....Had the chance, but blew it, remember?

Weeeeell, lemme think what else. my Sephiroth costume is coming rediculiously slowly. I really gotta buckle down on that. I mean seriously i dont even have the jacket done yet! So i better get working on that....yup....any minute now.....the rush of insperation shoould be coming aaaaaaany munute now............

Wow.....

2004-10-02T04:13:30Z

I just finish watching Nova: Origins, on PBS (yes i watch pbs goddammit! >.<, I'm too poor for the discovery channel...) Man, I'm.....so.., well my mood describes best,...contemplative. They were doing a subject on the big bang, and the search of intelligent life (two separate segments).....It's amazing how little us humans seem, compared to the infinite reaches of the universe. That somehow we are intelligent, living, and, in a debatable sense, thriving. What's equally amazing is how much we've advanced technologically speaking, in merely the past 50 years. Further than any jump in recorded human history. But, this also put great fear in my mind. Upon also watching the presidential debate against Kerry and Bush the previous night, both were describing the countries that currently have operational nuclear weapons......and remembering the stories of the survivors of the A-Bomb disaster in Hiroshima and Nagasaki……….flesh torn from the bones of the people close to the target…..bones and flesh turned to ashes…..to the further away survivors the hardship of cancer, sterility, and much worse….mutated offspring….It sends chills down my spine. There are indeed those who are insane enough to accomplish such a catastrophic deed. What worse, is we maybe them. Sure it’s instinctive action to defend ones life, or love ones lives. But if the war called for nuclear offence, in response to a nuclear attack on the homeland…..then….what would be left after all weapons are sent…..?…..I must stay positive though, no matter what. I made that promise to myself, never again, that hole I will never enter again for that long ever again. True the hole that is depression is a two-sided sword. Each time you fall in, there’s the possibility you’ll never get out… But it’s accentual from my growth, change, and to become stronger. For pain, makes us stronger, so that we may be more successful as life moves on.

my first entry.....

2004-09-29T15:24:13Z

Well, I'm gonna make my first short. I'm a bit sick right now *_*. Anyway, i probably should thank Sammi for introduceing me to this. I may even consider buying the pay service later. Eh maybe : ) This will be very useful for me to analize what my problems are. I mean when most people are mad, they don't know what to do. If i type something here while im mad, then ill remember later what to do so i won't get mad. With that said i guess thats all i need to say. Anyone interested in more info about me, please read my bio.